8 unmistakable signs you’ve settled down with the right person (according to a relationship expert)

Have you ever found yourself wondering, “Is this really the right relationship for me?”

It’s a question that’s crossed all of our minds at some point, especially when we’re investing time, energy, and heart into someone we care about. Relationships aren’t always straightforward, and it’s natural to crave that extra bit of clarity.

But what if there were clear, unmistakable signs that could reassure you you’re with the right person?

It’s not just about chemistry or shared goals; it’s about those deeper, sometimes subtle, qualities that make a relationship feel solid, secure, and, most importantly, real.

In this article, we’re uncovering eight telltale signs that mean you’re not just in a good relationship, but you’ve found the relationship.

So, if you’re looking for that “aha” moment about where you stand, let’s dive into these signs and see if they resonate with what you’ve found.

1) Comfort in silence

The beauty of a relationship isn’t just in the conversations, the laughter, or even shared interests. It’s also in the comfortable silences.

In my years as a relationship expert, I’ve found that couples who are truly in sync with each other can often sit in silence without it becoming awkward or uncomfortable.

Consider this: When you’re with the right person, there doesn’t always need to be a constant stream of chatter or noise. The silence between you can be just as meaningful, allowing you both to simply ‘be’ without any pressure to fill the air with words.

It’s during these quiet moments that you really feel at ease with each other. You’ve settled into a rhythm where silence is not empty; instead, it’s filled with understanding and mutual respect.

And that, dear readers, is a sign of being with the right person. They don’t just fill your life with sound; they fill it with tranquility too.

2) Mutual respect

One of the most telling signs of a healthy relationship is the presence of mutual respect.

It’s something that I’ve found to be a consistent factor in all successful relationships. Whether it’s respecting each other’s personal space, interests, or even differences, respect lays the foundation for a solid partnership.

When you’re with the right person, they value your opinions, even if they differ from theirs. They appreciate your quirks and idiosyncrasies, rather than trying to change them.

This kind of acceptance stems from a deep-seated respect for who you are as an individual.

Respect is one of the most profound expressions of love. It’s about acknowledging each other’s value and worth and treating each other accordingly.

In my own relationship, I’ve found mutual respect to be a cornerstone. It’s not always about agreeing on everything but acknowledging that we are two different individuals with our own set of beliefs and ideas. And that’s okay.

3) Independence within togetherness

When you’re with the right person, there’s a beautiful balance of independence and togetherness.

You see, a truly healthy relationship allows space for both partners to grow individually, as well as together. It’s not about losing your identity in the relationship, but rather enhancing it.

In my own relationship, I’ve found that we thrive when we have space to pursue our individual passions and interests, alongside our shared ones. It creates a dynamic where we can support each other’s growth and celebrate each other’s victories.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss this concept in detail. It’s about understanding that dependency in a relationship isn’t always healthy and can often stifle personal growth.

If you’re able to maintain your individuality while being part of a loving partnership, that’s a clear sign you’re with the right person. They:

• Encourage your personal growth
• Celebrate your individual achievements
• Love you for who you are – not just who you are in relation to them

4) Constructive conflicts

Now, this one might sound a little counterintuitive. After all, we often associate conflict with negative feelings. However, when you’re with the right person, conflicts can actually be a positive thing.

Allow me to explain.

No relationship is perfect, and disagreements are bound to happen. But it’s how you handle these disagreements that really matters.

Constructive conflicts are those where both partners are heard and respected, and the goal is to find a solution rather than to win an argument.

When you’re with the right person, conflicts don’t devolve into personal attacks or attempts to tear each other down. Instead, they’re opportunities for growth, understanding, and compromise.

In my own relationship, I’ve found that our disagreements often lead us to better understand each other’s perspectives and needs. They challenge us to grow and adapt, strengthening our bond in the process.

5) Shared values

Another clear sign that you’re with the right person is when your core values align.

Sure, you both might have different hobbies or tastes in music, but when it comes to your fundamental beliefs and principles, there’s a strong connection.

Think about it. Shared values form the bedrock of a healthy relationship. They guide your decisions, shape your lives, and often determine the path you take together.

In my own relationship, I’ve found that our shared values have played a crucial role. Our common belief in honesty, kindness, and respect for others has shaped the way we interact with each other and how we navigate our relationship.

So if you and your partner share core values, celebrate it! It’s a sign that you’re not just compatible on a superficial level but on a deep, fundamental level too. It shows that you’re ready to walk down the same path together, hand in hand.

6) Vulnerability is welcome

Let’s get real for a moment: being vulnerable is hard. It means opening up, letting your guard down, and showing your true self – flaws and all.

But when you’re with the right person, vulnerability doesn’t feel like a daunting task. Instead, it feels like a natural part of your relationship.

With the right person, you can:

• Share your deepest fears
• Express your emotions openly
• Admit when you’re wrong

They don’t judge you for your flaws or insecurities. Instead, they embrace them and love you even more for your honesty.

In my own relationship, I’ve learned that being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness but a testament to the strength of our bond. It took me a while to understand this, but once I did, it changed everything.

7) Laughter lives here

Laughter is a powerful bonding tool. It brings us closer, helps us to let go of inhibitions, and often acts as a stress reliever.

If you and your partner can laugh together – at silly jokes, shared memories, or even during tough times – it’s a sign you’re with the right person.

In my own relationship, laughter has been our glue.

Through ups and downs, laughter has often been our saving grace. We share a sense of humor that only we understand, and it’s something I wouldn’t change for the world.

So if you find yourself genuinely laughing with your partner often, cherish it. It’s more than just shared humor; it’s shared joy. And that’s a beautiful sign you’ve found your person.

8) They’re your safe haven

Let’s strip away the pretenses for a moment and talk about something deeply personal: feeling safe.

When you’re with the right person, they become your sanctuary. They’re the person you can turn to when the world seems daunting, the one whose arms feel like home.

With them, you can let down your defenses and just be yourself.

You don’t have to put up a brave front or pretend to be someone you’re not. They accept you in your entirety – in your moments of strength and in your moments of weakness.

I’ve found this sense of safety to be invaluable. Knowing that I have someone who stands by me, no matter what, has brought me a peace I never knew I could experience.

So if your partner is your safe haven in the storm of life, hold onto them. It’s a raw, beautiful sign that you’ve truly settled down with the right person.

Conclusion

For more insights on building healthy relationships and overcoming codependency, consider taking a look at my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. My hope is that it will offer you guidance and support on your journey towards love and fulfillment.

Remember, love isn’t always easy, but when it’s right, it’s worth every challenge thrown your way.