7 things in life you should never be emotionally dependent on

In life, it’s easy to become emotionally dependent on things outside our control, from the approval of others to the pursuit of material possessions.

However, these sources of validation are often fleeting and can prevent us from experiencing true emotional fulfillment.

This article explores 7 common areas where emotional dependency can arise and offers insights into how we can break free from these patterns.

By understanding these tendencies, we can begin to focus on what truly matters—self-worth, personal growth, and the present moment.

1) Other people’s approval

Let’s be honest, we all like to be liked.

But tying your self-worth and happiness to other people’s approval? That’s a recipe for emotional turmoil.

The trouble is, you can’t control what other people think or feel about you.

And when their approval becomes the yardstick for your happiness, you’re setting yourself up for constant disappointment.

So, instead of seeking validation from external sources, focus on self-validation. Give yourself the approval you seek from others.

You’ll find that emotional independence brings with it a sense of inner peace that no amount of external approval can provide.

This isn’t about ignoring criticism or feedback, but rather about not letting it define your self-worth or dictate your emotional state.

2) Your past

Allow me to share a personal story.

For a long time, I was haunted by my past. I let past mistakes and regrets dictate my present and future decisions. I became a prisoner of my own history, unable to move forward or grow.

One day, I realized that I had to let go. I had to accept that my past was just that – the past. It had happened, and there was nothing I could do to change it.

I started focusing on the present, making the most of each day instead of dwelling on things I couldn’t change. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

And guess what? Life got better.

So, don’t let your past hold you hostage. It’s okay to look back and learn from it, but don’t allow it to control your present or future.

3) Material possessions

Did you know that some of the happiest people in the world live in Bhutan, a small country in the Himalayas?

Despite not having a lot of material wealth, they measure their success in terms of Gross National Happiness.

Material possessions can bring temporary happiness, but they can’t provide lasting fulfillment. The thrill of buying something new wears off quickly and then we’re left chasing the next thing.

It’s a never-ending cycle that can leave us emotionally drained and unfulfilled.

That’s why it’s important not to base your happiness or self-worth on material possessions.

They are nice to have, but they should never be the source of your happiness or emotional wellbeing.

Instead, focus on experiences, relationships, and personal growth.

4) Social media

In this digital age, it’s easy to get caught up in the world of social media.

We all enjoy the occasional scroll through Instagram or Facebook, but when we start comparing our lives to the highlight reels of others, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness.

Not only that, but studies have shown that excessive use of social media can lead to anxiety, depression, and loneliness.

You see, while it’s okay to enjoy social media, remember not to rely on it for your happiness or as a measure of your worth.

Your value is not determined by the number of likes or comments you receive. After all, what you see on social media is often a curated, edited version of reality.

Find joy in your own life, not in comparison with others.

5) Perfection

I remember a time when I was consumed by the idea of perfection. Every task, every project, every interaction had to be flawless.

And when it wasn’t? I would beat myself up over it, dwelling on my perceived failures and shortcomings.

But over time, I realized that this pursuit of perfection was not only unattainable, but it was also robbing me of my happiness and peace of mind.

I’ve since learned to embrace imperfection. To see it not as a failure, but as a sign of growth. A reminder that I’m human and that it’s okay to make mistakes.

Striving for excellence is commendable, but being emotionally dependent on achieving perfection is not healthy.

In essence, it’s our imperfections that make us unique and human. Embrace them. Learn from them. And most importantly, don’t let them control your emotional wellbeing.

6) Predictability

Life is unpredictable, that’s a given.

And while a certain degree of routine and predictability can provide comfort, being emotionally dependent on everything always going as planned can set you up for constant disappointment.

Things change. Plans fail. Unexpected events occur. That’s just part of life.

Learning to roll with the punches, to adapt and adjust when things don’t go as planned, is crucial for emotional resilience.

In other words, don’t become emotionally dependent on it. Embrace the uncertainty of life and learn to find joy and growth in the unexpected.

7) Control over everything

Here’s the thing, we simply cannot control everything in life.

Trying to do so can lead to stress, anxiety, and frustration. It’s vital to understand that some things are just beyond our control and that’s okay.

Learning to let go and surrender control where it’s not possible or healthy can be incredibly liberating.

So, while it’s good to have control over our actions and decisions, being emotionally dependent on controlling every aspect of life is not.

There’s a certain beauty in letting things unfold naturally. It allows us to live more freely and joyfully.

Embracing emotional sovereignty