7 things a narcissist will do when they see you’re having fun without them

Have you ever noticed how a narcissist can’t stand it when you’re enjoying life without them?

There’s something about seeing you happy and carefree that just doesn’t sit well with them.

And trust me, they have their unique ways of showing it.

You’re probably thinking, “What exactly do they do?” Well, buckle up because we’re about to delve into the seven things a narcissist will do when they see you’re having fun without them.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

Not everyone who gets a bit envious or upset when they’re left out is a narcissist.

But there are certain actions and reactions that are telltale signs of narcissistic tendencies.

1) They’ll try to steal your spotlight

Ever notice how a narcissist can’t stand to be out of the limelight?

This is especially true when you’re having a good time without them.

Suddenly, they’ll feel this urgent need to be the center of attention.

There’s this subtle (or not-so-subtle) shift where they try to steal your spotlight.

Maybe they’ll start boasting about their achievements or resort to dramatic gestures – anything to draw the attention back to them.

It’s like they’re saying, “Hey, look at me! I’m important too.”

This is not just about them wanting to share in your joy.

It’s a manipulation tactic designed to make you feel less significant and them more powerful.

2) They’ll attempt to belittle your fun

This is something I’ve personally experienced.

One time, I was at a party without this particular friend who had narcissistic tendencies.

I was having a blast, dancing and laughing with other friends. When she found out, instead of being happy for me, she went on to belittle my fun.

Her exact words were, “Oh, you think that’s fun? You should see the parties I go to.”

It felt like a punch to the gut.

Why couldn’t she just be happy for me? Why did she feel the need to one-up my experience?

Narcissists have this way of making you feel like your fun is trivial compared to their grandiose life.

It’s as if they can’t stand the thought of you enjoying life without them, so they try to downplay your happiness.

3) They’ll subtly guilt-trip you

Now, this is a classic move.

You’re out there, living your best life, having fun without them, and then out of nowhere comes this wave of guilt.

The narcissist in your life somehow manages to make you feel guilty for enjoying yourself.

Let me paint you a picture.

You’re at a concert, one you’ve been looking forward to for months.

Your favorite band is playing and you’re on cloud nine. You post a picture on social media, and who’s the first to comment?

Our friendly neighborhood narcissist.

Their comment might seem innocent enough at first, something along the lines of “Wow, must be nice.”

But as you read it again, you start to feel this pang of guilt. Should you have invited them?

Are you a bad person for not thinking about them?

But here’s the truth – they’re just trying to guilt-trip you.

They want to take away your joy and replace it with guilt.

So, don’t let them. You have every right to enjoy your life without having to worry about pleasing them all the time.

4) They’ll start a needless argument

Picture this.

You’ve just returned from an amazing day out with your friends.

You’re glowing, full of stories, and excited to share your experiences. But the narcissist in your life seems unusually prickly.

Before you know it, they’ve started an argument out of nowhere.

Suddenly, you’re defending yourself over something trivial or unrelated to your fun day out.

Sounds familiar?

This is a common tactic narcissists use when they see you having fun without them.

They aim to burst your happiness bubble by creating conflict, leaving you confused and upset.

5) They’ll play the victim card

I’m sure you heard this one before – the narcissist playing the victim.

Here’s an interesting insight: Narcissists often exhibit a behavior known as “narcissistic victim syndrome.”

They portray themselves as the victim, even when they’re not.

So, let’s say you’re out enjoying a picnic with your family. The narcissist is not part of this outing.

When you return, they might spin a story about how they’ve been wronged while you were out.

Suddenly, they’re the focus again. Your fun day takes a backseat while you are left consoling them or dealing with their “crisis”.

It’s a clever move, turning the tables to refocus attention on them, especially when you’re relishing your fun without their presence.

6) They’ll isolate themselves

It might surprise you, but sometimes, a narcissist will isolate themselves when they see you having fun without them.

They’ll retreat into their shell, cutting off communication or even ignoring you.

While this can seem like a relief at first, it’s actually another manipulative tactic.

They want you to notice their absence and feel guilty or worried.

But here’s something to remember: their self-isolation is not your responsibility.

It’s okay to have fun without them. It’s okay to live your life.

7) They’ll try to sabotage your fun

Here’s the big one. Narcissists might try to sabotage your fun when they’re not part of it.

They could spread rumors, create unnecessary drama, or even attempt to ruin your plans.

It’s a desperate attempt to regain control and assert their importance in your life.

But remember, their need to sabotage is a reflection of their own insecurities and fear of abandonment.

It’s not about you or your ability to have fun.

So, keep living your life to the fullest. Don’t let their insecurities dictate your happiness.

After all, you deserve to have fun without dealing with someone else’s manipulative behaviors.

Final thoughts

If you’ve found yourself nodding along to these points, it’s likely you’ve been on the receiving end of a narcissist’s manipulation.

Remember, their actions are not a reflection of your worth.

It’s their insecurities that fuel their need to control and manipulate.

The key lies in recognizing these behaviors for what they are – manipulation tactics.

Start by observing. Notice when they try to steal your spotlight, belittle your fun, or instigate unnecessary arguments.

Be mindful of their guilt trips, victim-playing, self-isolation, and attempts to sabotage your happiness.

As you become more aware of these patterns, you’ll be better equipped to counteract them.