Respect means valuing someone’s opinion; dismissal means not seeing their worth.
But gaining respect isn’t always straightforward.
Even those who struggle with it often display 8 common behaviors without realizing.
If you’ve been feeling overlooked, these behaviors might be the reason.
1) Unconscious self-doubt
Self-doubt is a sneaky creature.
It worms its way into your thoughts, making you second-guess yourself and your decisions. It’s not always obvious – in fact, most times, people don’t even realize they’re doubting themselves until it’s too late.
And here’s the kicker – others can sense it.
When you radiate self-doubt, people pick up on it and it affects how they perceive you. It’s like a silent signal that says “I don’t believe in myself, so why should you?”
So if you’ve been finding it hard to gain respect, this could be why. Self-doubt might be subtly undermining you without your knowledge.
But don’t worry, it’s something that can be worked on. With some self-awareness and confidence-building exercises, you can kick self-doubt to the curb and command the respect you deserve.
After all, if you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect others to?
2) Over-apologizing
I remember a time when I used to apologize for everything.
Dropped a pen? “Sorry.” Someone bumped into me? “Oops, sorry.” Late reply to a non-urgent text? “I’m so sorry.”
I thought I was just being polite, but in reality, I was constantly undermining myself.
Every unnecessary “sorry” was a small chip at my self-respect, a subtle signal to others that I held myself responsible for things that were not my fault.
And guess what? It affected the way others perceived and respected me.
When you over-apologize, you send a message that you’re always in the wrong, even when you’re not. It makes people unconsciously view you as someone who constantly makes mistakes or is easily pushed around.
3) Avoiding eye contact
Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of non-verbal communication. It’s a clear indicator of your confidence and self-assurance.
But here’s something you might not know.
In an article posted on Better Up, they found that people who maintain eye contact are perceived as more reliable, warm, sociable, and sincere. In other words, more respectable.
On the flip side, people who avoid eye contact are often seen as insecure or untrustworthy — even if that’s not the case at all!
Your eyes can speak volumes about your confidence and credibility. Use them wisely!
4) Being too agreeable
It’s easy to fall into the trap of always agreeing with others. After all, who doesn’t want to avoid conflict and maintain harmony?
But here’s the thing: being too agreeable can sometimes be perceived as a lack of backbone. You may come across as someone who can’t stand their ground or express their own opinions.
And let’s face it, it’s hard to respect someone who seems like they’re just going with the flow, without any individual thoughts or beliefs.
5) Not setting boundaries
When I was younger, I often found it difficult to set boundaries. I thought saying ‘no’ would make me seem rude or unkind. I wanted to be liked, so I would often put my own needs aside to accommodate others.
But over time, I realized that not setting boundaries was actually undermining the respect others had for me.
When you don’t set clear boundaries, you allow others to overstep and take advantage of your goodwill. It sends a message that your time, feelings, and needs are not as important.
Setting clear boundaries is a sign of self-respect. And when you respect yourself, others are more likely to respect you too. Trust me, it’s a game changer.
6) Over-sharing personal information
We often think that by sharing more about ourselves, we can create stronger connections and build trust. While this is true to a certain extent, there’s a catch.
Over-sharing can sometimes backfire.
When you share too much too soon, it can make others feel uncomfortable. It disrupts the natural pace of relationship building and can make you come across as lacking discretion or boundaries.
Just like a good book, it’s best to reveal your story one chapter at a time.
7) Constantly seeking validation
We all like to be praised, don’t we? It feels good to have our efforts recognized and our worth acknowledged. But when you’re constantly seeking validation from others, it can be a problem.
As Psych Central notes: constantly seeking approval can make you appear insecure and dependent on others for your self-worth. And unfortunately, this can undermine the respect others have for you.
So if you’re finding it difficult to gain respect, take a moment to reflect. Are you continually seeking validation from others? If yes, it may be time to start looking inward.
Learn to validate yourself. Celebrate your own accomplishments, no matter how small. Recognize your own worth.
8) Not respecting others
The most crucial thing to remember when it comes to gaining respect is this: To earn respect, you need to give respect.
If you’re disrespectful to others, they’re less likely to respect you in return. It’s as simple as that.
So take a moment to reflect on how you treat others. Are you respectful? Do you acknowledge their feelings and opinions? Do you treat them with kindness and understanding?
Because ultimately, the way you treat others is a reflection of how you see yourself. And if you want others to see your worth, you first need to see theirs.
Wrapping up
As we wrap up, it’s clear that respect is founded on self-awareness, understanding, and mutual regard.
When it comes to respect, there’s a profound quote by author Robert Tew that resonates deeply: “Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.”
Our discussion highlights that respect starts with self-awareness.
If you’re struggling to gain respect, reflect on your behaviors, self-perception, and how you interact with others.
Consider what changes might be needed and whether you need to break any patterns.
Earning respect involves understanding your worth, setting boundaries, and showing the respect you want in return.
Embrace who you are and let others see it—respect follows naturally when you project your true self.
Your worth is defined by how you see yourself, not how others see you.
Stand tall, believe in yourself, and let your true self shine!
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