People who overestimate their own emotional intelligence tend to display these 8 behaviors in relationships

Emotional intelligence gets thrown around a lot these days, but let’s be real—it’s way more than just a trendy term.

It’s the backbone of how we connect with others and navigate relationships.

But here’s the thing: I’ve noticed that so many people think they’ve got it all figured out emotionally.

They’re convinced they’re empathetic, understanding, and in tune with others, yet their actions often tell a completely different story.

In my own messy journey of figuring this stuff out, I’ve come across eight behaviors that people with an inflated sense of emotional intelligence tend to show in relationships.

These behaviors speak volumes, and recognizing them is the first step to building relationships that actually feel real and compassionate.

1) Believing that they are always empathetic

Many individuals overestimate their emotional intelligence by believing that they are always empathetic.

They pride themselves on being in tune with others’ feelings and perspectives.

However, their actions often contradict these self-proclaimed empathetic traits.

Being truly empathetic requires more than just understanding others’ emotions.

It involves active listening, validation of others’ feelings, and responding in a caring and supportive manner.

It’s about recognizing and respecting the emotional boundaries of others.

People who overestimate their emotional intelligence often fall short in these areas.

They may interrupt during conversations, dismiss others’ feelings, or impose their own emotions onto others.

These actions reveal a lack of genuine empathy.

Believing you’re always empathetic is not the same as demonstrating real empathy in your interactions.

Actions speak louder than beliefs—showing empathy is what truly counts.

2) Assuming they are self-aware

Self-awareness is another trait that people who overestimate their emotional intelligence often assume they possess in abundance.

They believe they’re in tune with their feelings, emotions, and reactions.

Yet, their actions may not reflect this supposed self-awareness.

True self-awareness requires a deep understanding of our emotions, strengths, weaknesses, needs, and drives.

It’s about knowing how our emotions affect our actions and how we impact others.

These individuals often demonstrate a lack of self-awareness by reacting impulsively, failing to acknowledge their emotional triggers, or not recognizing their impact on others.

This suggests a gap between their perceived and actual level of self-awareness.

A study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that individuals often overestimate their emotional intelligence, highlighting a discrepancy between self-perception and actual abilities.

In the words of the Dalai Lama, “Self-awareness is the first step in accepting your weaknesses as well as capitalizing on your strengths.”

Genuine self-awareness is about continuously learning and growing, not just assuming you’ve got it all figured out.

3) Neglecting to invest in personal growth

Personal growth is a journey that requires continuous learning and self-reflection.

Individuals who overestimate their emotional intelligence often neglect this vital aspect, assuming they already have a complete understanding of themselves and others.

A powerful tool for personal growth is taking part in masterclasses like “The Art of Love and Intimacy” with shaman Rudá Iandê.

This transformative course dismantles the myth of ideal relationships, grounding individuals in reality and empowering them to embrace their present circumstances to improve their relationships.

The masterclass teaches that our external relationships mirror our internal relationship with ourselves.

It’s an enlightening perspective that places us in control of our personal development, resonating strongly with the importance of personal responsibility and authentic connections.

By challenging societal conditioning around love and intimacy, the masterclass guides participants towards breaking free from toxic relationship cycles.

The course aligns with my beliefs in self-empowerment, emotional independence, and ethical participation in the economy.

Investing in personal growth through platforms like this masterclass can be a game-changer.

It allows us to see our relationships as reflections of our self-relationship, enabling proactive steps towards improving both internal and external connections.

Don’t overlook the value of continuous learning and self-reflection. Check out “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass today to start your journey towards authentic and fulfilling relationships.

4) Ignoring the reflection in their relationships

People who overestimate their emotional intelligence often make the mistake of ignoring the reflection their relationships provide.

They fail to recognize that the patterns and dynamics in their relationships often mirror their internal state.

If you’re constantly attracting toxic relationships, it might reflect unresolved personal issues or negative self-beliefs.

Conversely, a healthy and fulfilling relationship often signifies a strong sense of self-love and emotional stability.

These individuals tend to overlook these reflections, blaming external circumstances or other people for relationship issues.

They fail to realize that change begins from within and that improving their relationships requires personal growth and self-improvement.

Ignoring the reflection your relationships offer is a missed opportunity for growth.

Ask yourself this question: What do your relationships say about your emotional intelligence?

5) Mistaking emotional suppression for control

A common misconception among those who overestimate their emotional intelligence is the belief that suppressing emotions equates to having control over them.

This could not be further from the truth.

True emotional intelligence involves understanding, managing, and expressing emotions in a healthy and constructive way.

Suppression, on the other hand, can lead to emotional imbalance, stress, and can even manifest as physical ailments.

Research published in Psychology Today highlights that built-up, suppressed emotion usually creates physical and emotional health problems in the body, like pains, aches, and frustration, and drains us of vital physical and mental energy.

People often suppress emotions because they fear being seen as weak or vulnerable.

However, vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength. It requires courage to express our true feelings and is a fundamental aspect of authentic relationships.

Suppression is not control. Embracing your emotions, understanding them, and expressing them healthily is a true sign of emotional intelligence.

Emotions are not our enemies—they are signals of our humanity.

6) Failing to recognize the emotions of others

One of the key components of emotional intelligence is the ability to accurately recognize and respond to the emotions of others.

However, individuals who overestimate their emotional intelligence often fail in this regard.

They may misinterpret emotional cues or dismiss the feelings of others, focusing solely on their own emotional state.

This lack of emotional sensitivity can lead to misunderstandings and conflict in relationships.

True emotional intelligence involves a balanced focus on both self and others.

It requires a genuine interest in understanding and responding to others’ emotional needs.

This empathetic approach fosters deeper and more meaningful connections, aligning closely with my belief in the value of authentic relationships.

Ignoring the emotions of others doesn’t demonstrate emotional intelligence—it reveals a lack of it.

True emotional intelligence is about balancing self-awareness with an understanding and respect for the emotions of others.

7) Believing that they are good listeners

People who overestimate their emotional intelligence often believe they are good listeners.

However, their actions often reveal otherwise.

Good listening goes beyond just hearing words—it’s about understanding and interpreting verbal and nonverbal cues, showing empathy, and responding appropriately.

These individuals often interrupt during conversations, make assumptions, or become distracted, which demonstrates a lack of genuine listening.

Emotional intelligence demands active listening skills—an openness and attentiveness to the speaker’s perspective without judgment.

This empathetic approach fosters mutual respect and understanding, reinforcing my belief in the importance of empathy and cooperation in relationships.

Believing you’re a good listener is not enough; demonstrating effective listening skills is what truly counts in building authentic relationships.

8) Overestimating their resilience

Resilience is an essential part of emotional intelligence.

It’s about how we manage stress, overcome challenges, and bounce back from adversity.

However, those who overestimate their emotional intelligence often overestimate their resilience as well.

They might believe they can handle any situation, dismissing their feelings of overwhelm or stress.

But this denial can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion.

A study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that individuals with inflated perceptions of their emotional intelligence are more susceptible to stress and burnout, highlighting the importance of accurate self-assessment.

True resilience is not about ignoring stress or suppressing emotions, but acknowledging them and effectively managing them.

This aligns closely with my belief in personal responsibility and self-awareness.

Overestimating your resilience doesn’t make you strong; true strength lies in acknowledging your vulnerabilities and managing your emotions effectively.

Embracing authentic emotional intelligence

Throughout this article, we’ve delved into the behaviors displayed by individuals who overestimate their emotional intelligence.

We’ve discovered that true emotional intelligence is not just about understanding our own emotions, but also about acknowledging and respecting the emotions of others.

It’s about showing empathy, listening actively, and demonstrating resilience in the face of adversity.

These insights serve as a reminder that emotional intelligence is more than just a self-concept—it’s demonstrated through our actions and interactions.

Recognizing these behaviors can serve as a starting point for personal growth and improved relationships.

To further this journey of personal and relationship development, I highly recommend watching the free “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass with Rudá Iandê.

This transformative experience will help you dismantle the myth of the ideal partner and relationship, instead grounding you in the reality of your present circumstances to significantly improve your connections.

This masterclass provides practical tools and profound insights that align perfectly with the understanding of emotional intelligence we’ve explored here.

It places you in control of your personal development, teaching you how your relationships mirror your internal state.

Taking part in platforms like “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass will guide you towards cultivating deeper, more meaningful relationships and furthering your personal growth.

As we’ve learned, authentic emotional intelligence is about balancing self-awareness with an understanding and respect for the emotions of others.

This is a transformative journey towards a more fulfilling life.