People who never take their frustrations out on others usually display these 6 strengths, according to psychology

I’ve always been captivated by people who never take out their frustrations on others. It’s an admirable trait, isn’t it?

But what makes these people so exceptionally strong?

Hi, I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit and a devoted psychology enthusiast.

For years, I’ve been observing, researching, and trying to decode the secret behind this fascinating human behavior.

It was a good decade ago when I found myself constantly losing my cool, lashing out at those around me.

Frustrations from work, personal life and even the mundane daily stressors were becoming a heavy burden, affecting my relationships and my overall wellbeing.

That’s when I decided to dive deeper into psychology to understand the strength behind maintaining composure during stressful times.

And what I discovered was nothing short of enlightening.

In this article, I’ll be sharing those insights with you.

1) Emotional intelligence

One of the first things I discovered in my exploration of psychology was the concept of emotional intelligence.

You see, it’s more than just being “smart” in the traditional sense.

Emotional intelligence involves understanding and managing your own emotions, as well as empathizing with the emotions of others.

For me, this was a game-changer. I realized that my frustrations were not about other people or external events, but about my own reactions to them.

With a heightened emotional intelligence, people are able to navigate stressful situations without lashing out.

They recognize their emotions as they come, understand what’s causing them, and choose how to express them in a way that is respectful to others.

So, if you find yourself frequently frustrated and taking it out on others, maybe it’s time to work on your emotional intelligence.

Start by recognizing your emotions as they arise, understanding what triggers them, and then responding thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively.

2) Self-awareness and self-regulation

The second key strength I noticed in people who never take their frustrations out on others is a high degree of self-awareness and self-regulation.

These are two more components of emotional intelligence, and they are crucial for managing frustrations.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t always good at this. I remember a time when I would react without thinking, letting my emotions dictate my actions.

But that’s where self-awareness comes in – it’s about recognizing our emotions and understanding their impact on our actions.

Let me share a personal story. A few years ago, I was in the middle of a heated argument with a friend. In the heat of the moment, I could feel the frustration building up, ready to explode.

But then I remembered a quote by the famous psychologist Carl Rogers: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

So, instead of lashing out, I paused. I acknowledged my feelings of anger and frustration, but didn’t let them control me.

This act of self-regulation helped me respond in a more thoughtful and constructive way.

Self-awareness and self-regulation aren’t about suppressing our emotions – far from it.

Rather, they are about understanding our emotions and choosing how we express them.

It’s not easy, but with practice, you can develop these skills and find healthier ways to express your frustrations.

3) Empathy

The third strength that people who never take their frustrations out on others typically have is empathy.

This is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

I remember a time when I was stuck in traffic after a long day at work. The car in front of me was moving slowly and I could feel my frustration rising.

But then, I thought about the driver in front of me. Maybe they were having an even worse day. Maybe they were struggling with something I knew nothing about.

In that moment, my frustration melted away, replaced by empathy. Instead of honking my horn and adding to their stress, I gave them space and patience.

This is the power of empathy. It allows us to see things from another’s perspective, to feel what they are feeling.

It’s a strength that can diffuse our frustrations and lead to more compassionate interactions.

Empathy doesn’t mean you have to agree with everyone or disregard your own feelings.

It simply means understanding that everyone has their own battles, and treating them with kindness and patience, even when you’re feeling frustrated.

4) Resilience

Resilience is another strength I’ve noticed in people who handle their frustrations well. It’s the ability to bounce back from adversity, disappointment, and failure.

In my own life, I’ve had moments where I’ve failed or faced setbacks. Initially, I would take out my frustrations on those around me.

But with time, I learned that this wasn’t helping anyone – especially not me.

Instead, I started working on building my resilience. I realized that setbacks were a part of life and that how I responded to them mattered more than the setback itself.

Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology supports this.

The researchers found that resilient individuals are good at managing their impulses and emotions.

They also tend to view their failures as opportunities for growth rather than as personal shortcomings.

So next time you face a setback, try viewing it as an opportunity for growth rather than a personal failing.

Over time, this shift in perspective can help you become more resilient and better at handling your frustrations.

5) Assertiveness

The final strength I’ve observed in people who don’t take their frustrations out on others is assertiveness.

This is the ability to express your feelings and needs in a direct, honest, and appropriate way.

In the past, I often bottled up my frustrations until they exploded, usually directed at the wrong person. This wasn’t fair to them or beneficial to me.

Learning to be assertive changed this. Instead of letting my frustrations build up, I learned to express them in a respectful way.

If something was bothering me, I’d communicate it directly and calmly, without blaming or criticizing the other person.

Assertiveness is about finding a balance – it’s not about being passive or aggressive. It’s about expressing your thoughts and feelings while also respecting the rights and feelings of others.

So if you’re struggling with taking out your frustrations on others, try working on your assertiveness.

It might feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it can lead to healthier communication and less frustration.

6) Patience

Patience, as I’ve discovered, is an underrated strength. It’s the ability to tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

I recall a time when I was waiting in a long line at the grocery store. I was in a rush and the person ahead of me was taking their time.

My initial reaction was frustration. But then, a quote from psychologist Carl Jung struck me: “Hurry is not of the devil; it is the devil.”

I realized that my impatience wasn’t helping the situation. So, I took a deep breath and chose patience over frustration.

Patience allows us to remain calm in the face of delay or adversity. It gives us the ability to persevere and to control our reactions.

And in moments of frustration, it can make all the difference.

Conclusion

There you have it – six strengths that people who never take their frustrations out on others usually display.

These traits aren’t exclusive, and we can all work on developing them.

My final piece of advice? Start small. Pick one strength you’d like to work on and practice it daily.

Over time, you’ll likely find yourself becoming more patient, resilient, and less prone to directing your frustrations at others.

Change takes time, but each small step brings you closer to a more peaceful and balanced life.