People who grew up with argumentative parents often display these 9 behaviors as adults

People always say we turn into our parents, for better or worse, and the more I reflect on my own childhood, the more I see how true that is.

I grew up in a house where arguments weren’t rare—they were just part of life, as normal as sitting down for dinner.

It made me tough, sure, but it also left its marks in ways I didn’t even realize until later.

Now, as an adult, I catch myself repeating patterns I picked up during those years.

It’s been a real journey figuring all of this out, and I want to share what I’ve learned along the way.

So, let’s dive into the nine common behaviors that tend to show up in adults raised in homes full of arguments.

1) They often become master negotiators

Growing up in an argumentative household can feel like a constant battlefield.

But in navigating these turbulent waters, many children develop a knack for negotiation.

This skill is born out of necessity, honed through countless interactions where finding common ground was the only way to diffuse tension.

It’s about reading the room, understanding perspectives, and finding solutions that satisfy all parties involved.

As adults, they often naturally gravitate towards roles that require negotiation.

Whether it’s in their personal relationships or professional life, they have a unique ability to mediate, to see all sides of a situation, and to negotiate effective resolutions.

But remember, being a master negotiator is not about winning.

It’s about understanding.

It’s about connection.

It’s about finding common ground amidst the chaos.

In the end, these individuals are not just surviving the battlefield—they’re mastering it.

And in doing so, they’re turning their turbulent past into a tool for fostering understanding and cooperation in their present.

2) They may struggle with vulnerability

In a home where every conversation can turn into an argument, showing vulnerability often feels like giving someone a weapon to use against you.

It’s no surprise then that as adults, those who grew up this way may struggle with being open and vulnerable.

They’ve learned to armor up, to keep their feelings guarded.

It can be a survival mechanism that served them well in their childhood environment but can create challenges in adult relationships.

I’ve observed this in my own life.

I’ve had to consciously work on allowing myself to be more open, to let people in, and to show my feelings without the fear of it leading to conflict.

As Brené Brown, a research professor who has spent her career studying courage, vulnerability, and empathy says, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

The journey towards vulnerability may seem daunting, but it’s a path worth walking.

It leads to deeper connections, authentic relationships, and a truer expression of oneself.

3) They often seek to break free from limiting beliefs and societal conditioning

Growing up in an argumentative environment instills certain beliefs and behavioral patterns that can limit one’s potential.

As adults, those who experienced this often find themselves seeking ways to transcend these inherited constraints and cultivate a life of authenticity and freedom.

One resource I’ve found invaluable in this journey is the “Free Your Mind” masterclass led by shaman Rudá Iandê.

It’s a transformative experience designed to help you dismantle societal conditioning and self-imposed limitations, ultimately fostering a profound sense of personal liberation.

In the masterclass, Rudá guides participants through exercises that challenge common myths in the spiritual world, promote a mindset shift towards love and acceptance, and encourage proactive steps towards personal growth.

It’s about aligning your thoughts and actions with your deepest values, leading to improved mental clarity and emotional resilience.

If you’re interested in embracing your true nature and freeing yourself from the patterns of your past, I invite you to check out this masterclass.

It’s a practical and profound approach to personal development that can help you start your journey towards mental and emotional liberation.

Break free from the constraints of your past.

Start your journey today.

4) They may hold onto past conditioning

Despite our best efforts, the past has a way of sticking with us.

The conditioning we received during our formative years often morphs into invisible scripts that guide our behavior as adults.

For those who grew up in argumentative households, this conditioning can manifest in various ways.

It could be an instinctive defensiveness in conversations, an aversion to conflict, or conversely, a propensity for heated debates.

Research shows that exposure to high-conflict environments in childhood can lead to defensive behaviors and difficulties in managing interpersonal conflict, often resulting in similar patterns of communication in adulthood.

Breaking free from this conditioning is not an overnight task. It requires self-awareness, patience, and a commitment to change.

It’s a journey that involves challenging ingrained beliefs and practices and embracing new ways of thinking and behaving.

And yes, it’s hard. But it’s also undoubtedly worth it.

5) They may turn conflict into connection

Ironically, growing up in an argumentative household can sometimes lead to a deeper understanding and appreciation of human connection.

While conflict is often viewed negatively, when navigated with awareness and compassion, it can become a powerful tool for growth and understanding.

It can become an opportunity to delve deeper into the complexities of human emotions, to understand different perspectives, and to build bridges where there were once walls.

Conflict becomes a medium for connection.

As I said earlier, it’s not about winning or losing, but about understanding and empathy.

It’s about recognizing the humanity in others, even when their ideas or behaviors clash with our own.

As adults, these individuals often excel in conflict resolution, mediation, and relationship building.

They understand that beneath the noise of disagreement lies a potential for profound connection and cooperation.

Remember this: Conflict is not a dead-end, but a crossroad leading to deeper understanding and connection.

Embrace its potential.

6) They are often self-reliant

A turbulent household often teaches children to rely heavily on themselves.

This self-reliance can manifest in various ways as they grow into adulthood.

They may become fiercely independent, take charge of situations, and prefer to handle things on their own.

While this self-reliance can be a strength, allowing them to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and determination, it can also lead to a reluctance to ask for help when needed.

According to research, individuals who grow up in environments where support is inconsistent or unavailable often develop a strong preference for self-reliance, which may later become a barrier to seeking help, even when it is necessary.

It’s important for these individuals to recognize that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a strength.

It takes courage to admit when we don’t have all the answers and to invite others into our journey.

This trait is deeply tied to their upbringing in an argumentative environment where they had to fend for themselves most of the time.

It’s about finding the balance between independence and interdependence, recognizing that both have a place in our lives.

7) They may have heightened emotional intelligence

Growing up amidst constant arguments often forces children to become adept at reading emotions and predicting behaviors.

This can lead to heightened emotional intelligence in adulthood.

They become skilled at understanding and managing their own emotions, as well as empathizing with the emotions of others.

This ability can serve them well in all areas of life, from personal relationships to professional interactions.

However, this emotional acuity is linked back to their argumentative upbringing.

It’s crucial for them to understand this connection and use their emotional intelligence in a balanced way, ensuring they do not neglect their own emotional needs while catering to those of others.

8) They may crave peace and harmony

When you’ve grown up amidst constant arguments, peace and harmony can feel like a luxury.

As adults, these individuals often find themselves craving serene environments and harmonious relationships.

They may go out of their way to avoid conflicts, seek peaceful resolutions, and strive for harmony in all areas of their lives.

This craving for peace is a reaction to their tumultuous upbringing and a desire for a different kind of life.

Research indicates that individuals who grow up in conflict-heavy environments are more likely to adopt conflict-avoidance strategies in adulthood, which can sometimes hinder healthy communication and relationship satisfaction.

While this avoidance helps them maintain peace, it can also prevent them from effectively addressing issues.

9) They may have an innate desire to make positive changes

Growing up in an argumentative environment often instills a deep desire to make positive changes—in oneself, in relationships, and in the world.

They want to create a reality different from what they experienced in their formative years.

These individuals often become advocates for change, champions of empathic communication, and promoters of mutual respect.

They strive to build a world that values understanding over dominance and cooperation over conflict.

This desire stems directly from their childhood experiences and serves as a driving force in their lives.

They are not just survivors of their past—they are architects of their future, striving to build a world that aligns with their ideals of respect, empathy, and understanding.

Embracing the journey

As you can see, navigating the complexities of such an upbringing is not without its challenges.

It requires self-awareness, a willingness to confront past conditioning, and an openness to personal growth.

It’s about understanding that our past does not define us, but it can shape us in profound ways.

For those ready to delve deeper into understanding their behaviors and transcending past conditioning, I strongly recommend the “Free Your Mind” masterclass with shaman Rudá Iandê.

This masterclass, which I had a hand in producing, is designed to help you dismantle limiting beliefs and societal conditioning.

Rudá Iandê guides participants through exercises aimed at breaking free from mental and cultural constraints while fostering a sense of personal liberation.

The journey towards self-awareness and emotional resilience begins here, aligning your actions with your deepest values.

Joining this masterclass equips you with the tools to understand your behaviors better, break free from past conditioning, and create an authentic life that aligns with your true self.

Let’s remember: We are not just products of our past—we are architects of our future.

The journey towards understanding and transforming our behaviors begins today.