There’s a stark contrast between what we show to the world and what’s really going on inside us.
Some people have a remarkable ability to appear calm and collected on the surface, even when they’re internally grappling with intense stress or emotional turmoil.
This façade can be deceiving, as their hidden struggles often reveal themselves through subtle behaviors.
In this article, I’ve listed seven signs someone might be in “crisis mode” beneath their calm exterior—and how understanding these behaviors can help anyone support them or recognize their own unspoken stress:
1) Overcompensation
People who are internally dealing with a crisis, but outwardly maintaining a calm demeanor, often exhibit behaviors that can be classified as overcompensation.
Overcompensation is a psychological term that refers to covering up perceived weaknesses by going above and beyond in other areas.
This could mean working longer hours, becoming overly attentive to detail, or pushing oneself to extremes to maintain an image of composure and control.
This behavior often stems from a desire to keep the inner turmoil hidden, to avoid burdening others, or out of fear of being judged.
It’s not about deceiving people but more about trying to maintain normalcy in the midst of internal chaos.
2) Perfectionism
Another common behavior displayed by people in internal crisis is an excessive need for perfection—I’ve seen this in myself during periods of high stress.
I recall a time when I was dealing with some personal issues, but trying to keep it all under wraps: At work, I started becoming obsessed with making everything perfect and I would review my presentations multiple times, often working late into the night to ensure every detail was flawless.
It wasn’t because the job demanded it, but because I was using it as a distraction, a way to control something when everything else seemed out of control.
In hindsight, it was a cry for help that I didn’t even realize I was making.
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help—being vulnerable doesn’t equal to weakness.
3) Withdrawing from social interactions
People who are dealing with internal crises often subtly pull away from social interactions.
This can range from declining invitations to spending more time alone.
Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Translational Psychiatry found that people who are experiencing poor mental health outcomes, including increased morbidity and mortality, and reduced quality of life to isolate themselves socially.
This behavior might seem counterintuitive, as social connections can provide emotional support during tough times—but, for those in crisis mode, the thought of burdening others can lead them to create a distance.
Recognizing this pattern can help us reach out to those who might be silently struggling.
4) Unexplained symptoms
When someone is calm on the outside but in crisis mode internally, their body may start to show signs of the struggle.
They might experience unexplained symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or sleep disturbances.
These symptoms, often related to stress and anxiety, can be the body’s way of signaling that something is off.
It’s important to note that persistent symptoms should always be checked out by a healthcare professional.
5) Overthinking
On the surface, I’m often the picture of calm and collected, but underneath, my mind can be a whirlwind of thoughts.
This is something I’ve noticed during times of internal crisis: the constant overthinking.
Whether it’s replaying conversations, imagining worst-case scenarios, or worrying about everything that could go wrong, my brain seems to be on overdrive—like a hamster on a wheel that just won’t stop spinning.
Overthinking can be mentally draining and can often exacerbate the feelings of crisis.
6) Changes in routine
When people are dealing with an internal crisis, their routines might start to change.
Maybe they start skipping meals, staying up late, or neglecting their usual hobbies and interests.
These changes might seem small or insignificant at first, but they can be a sign of something deeper going on.
Acknowledging and recognizing these changes in ourselves or others can be an early warning sign that something isn’t right beneath the surface.
It’s an invitation to check in, offer support, or seek help if needed.
7) Emotional outbursts
Perhaps the most telling sign of an internal crisis beneath a calm exterior is unexpected emotional outbursts.
These outbursts can range from sudden anger to bouts of crying, and they often seem disproportionate to the situation at hand.
It’s not about being overly sensitive or dramatic, but a sign that the individual is dealing with more than they’re letting on.
If we notice this in ourselves or others, it’s crucial to remember that it’s okay to not be okay.
Seeking help and support is not a sign of weakness, but an act of courage and strength.
Final reflection: It’s all about empathy
The human capacity for resilience and strength is truly remarkable—people often face internal battles that no one else sees, maintaining a calm exterior while navigating through a storm inside.
Remember, the behaviors we’ve discussed are not about deceit or hiding truths, but survival mechanisms.
They are ways people try to cope with their internal crises while trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy in their lives.
A quote by Ian Maclaren resonates here, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
Perhaps this is the most important takeaway; recognizing these behaviors in ourselves or others isn’t about judgement or critique, but understanding and empathy.
Not everyone has to have all the answers—sometimes, just letting someone know they’re not alone can make a world of difference.
We’re all on this journey together, each dealing with our own internal storms.
In the end, it’s not just about weathering these storms but learning how to dance in the rain!
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