I think it’s fair to say that we all want to live with integrity—to align our actions with our values and be true to ourselves.
But many of us mistake integrity as something found only in the big things—grand gestures or major life decisions. The truth is, integrity is built in the small, everyday choices we make.
And sometimes, it’s the subtle habits we overlook that can quietly pull us away from the person we want to be. Today, we dive into six such habits to leave behind if you want to live a life of greater integrity.
Let’s get started.
1) Saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”
This is a common habit that many of us struggle with, and it’s a big integrity killer.
Why? Because agreeing to things that you don’t want to do, don’t have time for, or simply don’t believe in, isn’t being true to yourself.
It’s okay to say no. In fact, it’s more than okay. It’s crucial if you want to live with greater integrity.
When we say yes out of obligation, guilt, or the fear of disappointing others, we’re not living authentically. We’re not acting in line with our true feelings and values.
As put by bestselling author Stephen Covey, “You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically—to say no to other things.”
Saying “no” takes practice, but the payoff in terms of living a more genuine and authentic life is huge.
2) Ignoring your gut feelings
We’ve all had those moments. That nagging feeling in your gut telling you something isn’t right, but you ignore it. I’ve done it too.
A few years ago, I was offered a promotion at work. On the surface, it seemed like the perfect opportunity – better pay, more responsibility. But something didn’t feel right. My gut was telling me this wasn’t the right path for me.
But I ignored that feeling. I took the promotion and found myself in a role that didn’t fulfill me, working long hours and feeling out of sync with my values. It was a hard lesson, but one I needed to learn.
Ignoring your gut feelings can lead you down paths that aren’t in alignment with who you truly are. Start trusting your instincts more. They’re often trying to guide you toward your true path.
3) Avoiding difficult conversations
Let’s face it—nobody enjoys difficult conversations. Whether it’s giving honest feedback, addressing a conflict, or setting boundaries, it’s often easier to avoid them altogether.
But as psychotherapist Jennifer Gerlach has noted, “Evading difficult conversations can lead to miscommunication, relationship breakdown, and compromised values.”
When we avoid addressing tough topics, we sacrifice honesty and authenticity, choosing short-term comfort over long-term alignment with our values.
Unspoken issues don’t disappear—they fester, creating tension and disconnect. Learning to approach these conversations with clarity and compassion takes courage, but it’s essential for maintaining integrity in both your relationships and your life.
4) Making promises we know we can’t keep
“Never value as an advantage to yourself what will force you one day to break your word”
It sounds bad, doesn’t it? But let’s be honest—we’ve all done it at some point.
Maybe you overcommitted at work, promised a friend you’d help out even though your schedule was packed, or told someone, “I’ll call you later,” knowing you probably wouldn’t.
At the moment, it can feel easier to say yes than to disappoint someone or face a tough conversation. But breaking promises—no matter how small—chips away at your integrity over time.
When we make promises we can’t keep, we’re not just letting others down—we’re letting ourselves down too. Each broken promise creates a disconnect between our words and actions, which erodes trust and leaves us feeling out of alignment with who we want to be.
The solution?
Pause before making a commitment. Be honest about your time, energy, and intentions. Saying “I can’t commit to that right now” might feel uncomfortable, but it’s a small step toward living more authentically.
5) Faking it until you make it
We hear this advice all the time: “Fake it until you make it.” On the surface, it sounds empowering—a way to build confidence and push through uncertainty. But taken too far, this mindset can steer you away from integrity.
When we fake it, we risk losing touch with our authenticity. Pretending to know more than we do, exaggerating our abilities, or putting on a persona to impress others might help in the short term, but it creates a gap between who we are and who we’re pretending to be.
Over time, this gap can feel exhausting and even erode self-trust. Living with integrity means owning where you are while striving for where you want to be. Instead of faking it, try embracing growth with honesty.
6) Blaming others for our mistakes
Pointing fingers is an easy way to dodge accountability, but it’s also a surefire way to undermine integrity.
When we shift blame onto others—whether it’s a colleague, circumstance, or even bad luck—we avoid taking responsibility for our actions and the consequences that follow.
While it might feel like a quick fix in the moment, blaming others creates a pattern of deflection that keeps us from growing. It prevents us from learning from our mistakes and sends the message that we value excuses more than solutions.
Living with integrity means owning your part in every situation—the good and the bad. Admitting when you’ve fallen short isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness.
Final thoughts: The path to authenticity
Integrity is built in the little moments—saying no when you mean it, trusting your gut, facing difficult conversations, and taking responsibility for your choices.
Each decision to act with honesty and intention brings you closer to the person you want to be.
Take a moment to reflect: Which of these habits are holding you back? And what small step can you take today to live with greater integrity?
The journey to alignment starts with awareness—and you’re already on your way.
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