If you want to be more confident and less socially awkward as you get older, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

For many of us, awkward moments and self-doubt seem to tag along like uninvited guests at every stage of life.

But here’s the thing—growing older doesn’t have to mean growing more awkward. In fact, with a few tweaks to your habits, you can exude confidence and feel at ease in almost any social setting.

It starts by recognizing the behaviors that hold you back. Here are 7 things you should let go of to unlock a more confident, socially savvy version of yourself.

1) Apologizing unnecessarily

We’ve all been there. You bump into someone in the hallway, and the first words out of your mouth are, “I’m sorry.”

Or maybe you’re a few minutes late for a meeting, and even though it’s no big deal, you spend the first five minutes apologizing profusely.

Well, here’s the thing – excessive apologizing can actually make you seem less confident and more socially awkward. It’s as if you’re constantly seeking approval or worried about offending others.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with a sincere apology when you’ve done something wrong. But when “I’m sorry” becomes your automatic response to every little thing, it’s time to reassess.

The next time you find yourself about to apologize for something trivial, take a moment. Instead of saying “I’m sorry,” consider saying “thank you” instead.

For example, if you’re late for a meeting, instead of saying, “I’m sorry I’m late,” try saying, “Thank you for waiting for me.”

You’ll be surprised at how this small change can boost your confidence and make social interactions feel less awkward.

2) Avoiding eye contact

I’ll admit, I used to be guilty of this one.

Whether it was nerves or just the fear of being “too intense,” I found myself avoiding eye contact in conversations.

But here’s the truth: avoiding eye contact can come across as a lack of confidence—or worse, untrustworthy.

Research has shown that maintaining eye contact helps build trust and strengthens connections between people.

It’s a subtle but powerful signal that says, “I’m engaged, and I value what you’re saying.” Without it, even the best conversations can feel distant or disconnected.

If the idea of locking eyes with someone feels overwhelming, start small. A helpful trick is to focus on the space between their eyebrows or their forehead.

This gives the impression of eye contact without the pressure of direct staring.

With practice, making and holding eye contact will start to feel natural—and you’ll notice an immediate boost in how others respond to you.

3) Negative self-talk

You know the saying “you are what you eat”? Well, the same concept applies to your thoughts. If you consistently feed your mind negative thoughts about yourself, it’s going to affect your confidence and social interactions.

Negative self-talk is a destructive behavior that can lead to low self-esteem and social awkwardness.

And here’s an interesting piece of information – according to the National Science Foundation, an average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive.

That’s a lot of negativity we’re dealing with daily!

How do you combat this? By consciously shifting your thought patterns from negative to positive. Instead of focusing on what you did wrong or what could go wrong, focus on what you did right and what could go right.

It might feel unnatural at first, but with practice, you’ll find that positive thinking becomes more of a habit. And as you become more positive in your thoughts, you’ll naturally become more confident and less socially awkward.

4) Overthinking

Many of us fall into the trap of overanalyzing social situations, replaying conversations in our heads, or worrying about future interactions.

But here’s the truth: overthinking doesn’t change the outcome of a situation, it only amplifies our fears and insecurities.

The solution? Start by recognizing when you’re overthinking. Once you’re aware, practice mindfulness or grounding techniques to bring yourself back to the present moment.

Another effective strategy is to busy yourself with tasks or activities that require your full attention. This helps divert your mind from spiraling into negative thought patterns.

The goal isn’t to stop thinking altogether but to control your thoughts and prevent them from controlling you. As you master this, you’ll find yourself more confident and less socially awkward.

5) Fear of rejection

It’s a universal human experience – the fear of rejection. It can be paralyzing, and often, it holds us back from taking risks or putting ourselves out there.

But here’s a little nugget of wisdom – rejection is not a reflection of your worth. It’s simply a sign that something wasn’t the right fit, whether it’s a job, a relationship, or a social situation.

Embrace rejection as part of life’s learning process. Each rejection brings you one step closer to finding where you truly belong. And when you change your perspective like this, you start to fear rejection less.

And when the fear of rejection diminishes, you’ll find that your confidence grows and social interactions become less daunting.

6) Trying to please everyone

This is a big one that I am all too familiar with.

There was a time when I believed that in order to be liked, I had to agree with everyone and avoid conflict at all costs. But let me tell you, this was exhausting and left me feeling unsatisfied and disconnected from my true self.

It’s impossible to please everyone. And when you try to do so, you end up compromising your own needs and values.

It’s important to understand that it’s okay not to agree with everyone. It’s okay to voice your opinions, even if they’re different. And it’s okay if not everyone likes you.

Trust me, when you start living by this principle, you’ll find that your confidence increases, and your social interactions become more genuine.

7) Comparing yourself to others

In today’s social media-driven world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others. But remember, what you see online is often a highlight reel, not the full picture.

Comparing yourself to others can chip away at your confidence and make you feel inadequate. And these feelings of inadequacy can heighten social awkwardness.

Instead of focusing on how you measure up against others, shift your focus to your own growth and achievements. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small they may seem.