If you want less drama and more stability in your life as you age, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

It’s a universal truth: As we age, we crave less drama and more stability in our lives.

However, this often requires us to let go of certain behaviors that stir up chaos and unsettle our peace.

This isn’t about changing who you are, but rather about evolving. It’s about consciously choosing to ditch specific actions that could be holding you back from a calmer, more balanced life.

So, if you’re ready for a life with less drama and more stability, it’s time to bid farewell to these 7 behaviors.

1) Avoiding change

One of the most common behaviors that can lead to drama and instability as we age is the resistance to change.

Look, change is inevitable. It’s a part of life, and fighting it often leads to unnecessary stress and tension.

As we grow older, we must learn to adapt to new circumstances and embrace the changes that come our way. This could be anything from technological advancements to shifts in our personal relationships.

Resisting change not only causes internal turmoil but can also strain our relationships with others who are adapting and moving forward.

So, if you’re looking for less drama and more stability, start by embracing change rather than avoiding it. It might help to see it in a positive light — change could mean a brand new adventure!

2) Holding onto grudges

Let me share a personal experience. For years, I held a grudge against a former friend who had wronged me. I thought that by holding onto this resentment, I was somehow punishing them for their actions.

But as the years went by, I realized that the only person this grudge was hurting was me. It was causing unnecessary stress and bitterness, and it was preventing me from moving forward.

The day I decided to let go of that grudge, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. It was like I could finally breathe again. And it wasn’t because the person had apologized or made amends, but because I had chosen to let go.

Holding onto grudges can create a lot of drama and instability in your life. So, as we age, it’s important to learn to forgive and let go. Not for the other person, but for ourselves.

3) Living in the past or future

Another behavior that often causes drama and instability is living in the past or constantly worrying about the future.

It’s easy to get caught up in regrets about past mistakes or anxieties about what’s to come, but neither of these mental habits contribute to stability in our lives.

Instead, we should strive to live in the present moment. This is a concept I discuss at length in my book, The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment.

In this guide, I highlight how mindfulness can help us stay present and avoid unnecessary worry about the past or future. By being fully aware of our current experiences and accepting them without judgment, we can reduce stress, increase our emotional stability, and improve our overall quality of life.

Embracing mindfulness doesn’t mean we should ignore the past or fail to plan for the future. Rather, it encourages us to focus on what we can control – our actions and reactions in the present moment.

So if you’re looking for more stability and less drama, consider picking up The Art of Mindfulness and start implementing its teachings into your daily life.

4) Seeking approval

Once upon a time, I was consumed by the desire for approval. Whether it was from friends, family, or colleagues, I was constantly seeking validation that I was good enough.

This need for approval dictated my actions and decisions, creating unnecessary drama and instability in my life.

Of course, it’s okay and completely natural to want recognition for our hard work and accomplishments. But when we start basing our self-worth on others’ opinions, it can lead to a rollercoaster of emotions.

If they don’t like you, you’ll feel bad. And if they do, you’ll feel happy. Do you see how, essentially, you’d be handing over control of your emotions to other people?

True stability and fulfillment comes when you’re in control of your own emotions. When you value personal growth and self-approval over external validation.

It’s about recognizing our worth, embracing our imperfections, and realizing that we don’t need others’ approval to be happy or successful.

Remember, your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth. As long as you like yourself, you’ll feel much more at peace, regardless of what anyone else says!

5) Avoiding conflict

This might sound counter-intuitive, but avoiding conflict at all costs can actually create more drama and instability in our lives.

How so?

Well, when we shy away from confrontation, we often suppress our feelings and allow resentment to build up.

This can lead to passive-aggressive behavior and even blow-ups over minor issues, creating more chaos than if we’d just addressed the problem head-on.

According to psychology, conflict can actually improve your relationships if you handle it correctly.

By that, I mean expressing your feelings and needs calmly and respectfully, without attacking or blaming the other person. It’s about finding a middle ground where both parties feel heard and understood.

So, if you want less drama and more stability in your life, don’t shy away from conflict. Instead, learn to navigate it in a healthy and constructive way.

6) Neglecting self-care

It’s easy to put our own needs on the backburner, especially when we’re busy taking care of others or chasing career goals. But neglecting self-care can lead to burnout, stress, and a host of other issues that can disrupt our lives.

Self-care isn’t just about spa days and indulgent treats. More than that, it’s about:

• Setting boundaries
• Getting enough rest
• Eating well
• Exercising regularly
• Taking time out to relax and rejuvenate

In a nutshell, it’s about taking care of our physical, emotional, and mental health. When we prioritize self-care, we are better equipped to handle life’s ups and downs. We’re more resilient, more balanced, and generally happier.

Trust me, making time for self-care goes a long way in keeping your life calm and stable.

7) Fear of saying no

Speaking of boundaries, do you sabotage your own boundaries by always saying “yes”?

The fear of saying no can lead to overcommitment, stress, and a life filled with things that don’t truly bring us joy or fulfillment.

It’s essential to understand that saying no is not a sign of weakness or rudeness. Rather, it’s a form of self-respect and an assertion of your boundaries.

When we say yes to everything, we spread ourselves too thin. This can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and the inability to fully enjoy or commit to any one thing.

Learning to say no when necessary allows us to focus on what truly matters in our lives. It provides us the time and energy to pursue our passions, spend quality time with loved ones, and maintain our physical and mental health.

The essence: It’s about choice

A calm and stable life doesn’t happen by accident — it happens by design.

Which means, it’s all about the choices you make. Are you intentional about them, or do you tend to let life happen to you?

If you need some help with being intentional, my book The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment might help. In it, I offer practical insights on embracing the present and navigating through life with grace and mindfulness.

Every decision you make, no matter how small, contributes to the overall rhythm of your life.

Choosing how to spend your time, who to let into your inner circle, and what boundaries to set are all opportunities to create harmony. Make sure your choices align with the kind of life you truly want, and you’ll feel a deep sense of inner peace.