Growing older is a privilege, a journey that should be embraced with open arms.
Yet, there’s this nagging voice in the back of your mind. It whispers about the unbecoming behaviors that time and habit have etched into your persona.
You’ve tried to ignore them, you’ve even attempted to outgrow them, but they seem stubbornly persistent.
These are not earth-shattering revelations. Instead, they’re subtler nuisances: little habits and quirks that might not do justice to the classy, mature person you are striving to become.
Here’s a guide on how to identify these behaviors and gracefully let them go as you age, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.
1) Clinging to outdated prejudices
Growing older comes with a wealth of experience and wisdom, but it can also bring along outdated prejudices and biases.
These prejudices, often formed in our younger years, reflect poorly on us as we age. They can make us seem close-minded, stubborn and, frankly, out of touch.
You might not even realize you’re harboring these biases. They could be as subtle as an unexamined assumption or as blatant as a sweeping generalization.
But the bottom line is this: If you want to exude class, these biases have got to go.
Being open-minded, understanding and accepting of others regardless of their background, race, religion or lifestyle is a sign of a truly classy individual.
2) Letting gossip become your go-to conversation
I’ll admit it — there was a time when I loved a good piece of juicy gossip.
The thrill of knowing something no one else did, or discussing someone else’s life, gave me a sort of high. It was my guilty pleasure.
But as I’ve aged, I’ve come to realize how shallow and unfulfilling these conversations really are.
Gossip doesn’t contribute anything positive to our lives or to those we’re talking about. It’s just a distraction, a way to avoid deeper, more meaningful topics of conversation.
I remember this one instance when I was at a dinner party. The conversation shifted towards a mutual friend who wasn’t present, and the room was abuzz with speculations about her life choices. I found myself joining in and it felt…wrong.
That’s when it hit me. If I wanted to be seen as classy and mature, if I wanted my conversations to reflect the person I am becoming, then gossip had to go.
Now, I strive for conversations with substance — ones that revolve around ideas, experiences, and knowledge. It’s not always easy, but the depth and connection it brings is worth the effort.
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Gossip is easy; avoiding it requires effort. But trust me, it’s an effort that pays off in class and dignity.
3) Holding onto grudges
Nelson Mandela once said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”
This quote hit me hard the first time I read it. Holding onto grudges, I realized, was like carrying around a heavy burden that only weighed me down.
Grudges are a part of life — we’ve all been wronged, hurt, or felt slighted at some point. But as we get older, these grudges can start to define us. They can make us bitter, resentful, and closed off to new experiences or relationships.
Remember, letting go of grudges doesn’t mean you’re condoning what happened or forgetting about it. Instead, it’s about choosing your peace of mind and emotional well-being over past hurts.
As we age, clinging to old grudges is one habit we need to shed if we truly want to exude class.
4) Being constantly plugged in
In the age of technology, we’re more connected than ever. But are we really?
Studies show that an average person checks their phone 96 times a day. That’s once every 10 minutes!
We’re so engrossed in our digital lives that we often forget about the real world around us.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Technology is amazing. It keeps us informed, connected, and entertained. But when it starts to interfere with our real-life interactions, it becomes a problem.
This constant need to be plugged in is one behavior we need to reassess as we get older. Class is about being present and engaged with those around us. It’s about valuing real-life interactions over digital distractions.
So next time your phone pings during a meal or conversation, resist the urge to check it immediately. Instead, focus on the people in front of you. Trust me, whatever notification you received can wait.
5) Neglecting self-care
As we grow older, our bodies and minds require more attention and self-care. But often, we get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget to prioritize ourselves.
We push our needs to the back burner, thinking that our health and well-being can wait.
But here’s the thing: true class is not just about how we present ourselves to the world, but also about how we treat ourselves.
Self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. It means taking time for yourself, eating well, exercising regularly, keeping your mind sharp and active, pursuing hobbies and passions, and connecting with loved ones.
Being classy isn’t about appearing perfect or being constantly busy. It’s about understanding your worth and taking care of yourself so you can be your best for others.
So bid farewell to neglecting self-care. Embrace it instead. Because as we age, taking care of ourselves is one of the most significant ways to exude class.
6) Avoiding difficult conversations
As we age, we encounter a multitude of challenges and situations that require difficult conversations.
But often, we tend to avoid these confrontations, thinking it’s the easier route.
Maybe it’s a friend who constantly cancels plans last minute, or a co-worker who isn’t pulling their weight on a project. You feel frustrated, but instead of addressing the issue head-on, you avoid the conversation.
Here’s the catch: Classy individuals don’t shy away from difficult conversations. They handle them with grace and diplomacy. They know that these conversations are opportunities for growth and understanding.
Remember, it’s not about being confrontational or aggressive. It’s about expressing your feelings and needs in a respectful manner. It’s about seeking solutions rather than dwelling on problems.
7) Living in the past
Sometimes, we get caught up in our past — reminiscing about the good old days, regretting past mistakes, or wishing we could relive certain moments.
I used to spend a lot of time dwelling on the past. I’d revisit old memories, both good and bad, and find myself getting lost in them.
But I realized that while it’s nice to reminisce, constantly living in the past was preventing me from appreciating the present and looking forward to the future.
Here’s the truth: A classy individual knows how to honor their past without being anchored by it. They understand that every experience, every decision, every mistake is a part of their journey that has shaped them into who they are today.
Living in the past can be comforting, but it’s also limiting. It keeps us from growing, evolving, and moving forward.
8) Not practicing gratitude
In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to lose sight of all the things we have to be grateful for.
We often focus on what’s going wrong or what we don’t have, rather than appreciating what we do have.
I used to be guilty of this too. I’d get caught up in my problems, my stresses, my wants and needs. But then I realized that this mindset was only causing me more stress and dissatisfaction.
The truly classy individuals I’ve admired in my life all have one thing in common: they practice gratitude. They appreciate the big things, certainly, but they also find joy in the small things — a sunny day, a good meal, a kind word from a friend.
Practicing gratitude shifts our focus from what’s lacking in our lives to the abundance that’s already present. It helps us to appreciate the journey, not just the destination.
The final takeaway
If you’ve nodded along while reading these points, you’re not alone.
These behaviors are quite common, we’ve all been guilty of them at some point. But recognizing them is the first step towards change.
Don’t beat yourself up if you’ve fallen into these habits. Instead, see this as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. It’s never too late to change our ways and become the classy, mature person we aspire to be.
Start by being mindful of these behaviors. Notice when they show up. Ask yourself if they align with the person you want to become. And if they don’t, have the courage to let them go.
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