If you really want to become a confident speaker, say goodbye to these 10 habits

Becoming a confident speaker is all about what you do, and equally about what you don’t do.

Let’s be honest. There are certain habits that can hold us back from truly shining on stage. They can undermine our credibility and make us seem less confident than we really are.

To become a confident speaker, it’s time to bid these habits farewell. And trust me, once you kick these 10 habits to the curb, you’ll see your confidence skyrocket.

If you’re ready to become the speaker you’ve always wanted to be, let’s dive into the habits you need to say goodbye to.

1) Relying on filler words

Ever noticed those little words or sounds that creep into our speech when we’re not quite sure what to say next? Words like “um,” “uh,” “like,” and “so”. They’re called filler words, and they’re public speaking’s number one enemy.

We tend to resort to filler words when we’re nervous or unsure. They’re a crutch, a way of filling silence as we organize our thoughts. But they can make us seem less confident and less credible.

The best speakers know how to embrace silence. They understand that a pause can be powerful, allowing their message to sink in.

2) Avoiding eye contact

I remember my first public speaking gig. I was so nervous that I spent most of the time staring at my notes, rarely looking up at my audience. Later, a friend who was there told me that it felt like I was speaking to my paper, not to them.

Eye contact is essential in public speaking. It helps you connect with your audience and shows them that you’re confident and engaged. When you avoid eye contact, it can come across as though you’re disinterested or not fully present.

I’ve since learned to make regular eye contact when I’m speaking, and the difference has been night and day. I feel more connected to my audience, and they tell me they feel more engaged with what I’m saying.

Take it from me, if you want to become a more confident speaker, start by looking your audience in the eye.

3) Speaking too fast

Did you know that the average person speaks at around 125 to 150 words per minute? However, when we’re nervous, this rate can significantly increase, making our speech sound rushed and making it hard for our audience to keep up.

When we speak too fast, important points can get missed and our message may not be clearly understood. On top of that, it can give the impression that we’re anxious or unsure – definitely not the message a confident speaker wants to convey.

Slowing down allows your audience to better absorb what you’re saying and gives you time to breathe and think about your next point.

4) Neglecting body language

Body language is a powerful tool in communication. It can either reinforce what you’re saying or contradict it. For instance, if you’re speaking about something exciting but your body language is closed and rigid, it sends mixed signals to your audience.

Confident speakers know how to use body language to their advantage. They stand tall, make open gestures, and use their facial expressions to convey their message. These non-verbal cues can make their speech more engaging and more memorable.

When you’re preparing for a speech, don’t just focus on what you’re going to say. Pay attention to how you’re going to say it. Your body language can speak just as loudly as your words.

5) Not practicing enough

Here’s the thing. Confidence doesn’t just magically appear. It comes from being prepared, and preparation requires practice.

Think about it. When you’ve run through your speech multiple times, you know it inside out. You’re less likely to stumble over your words or forget your points. And when you know your material well, you naturally exude confidence.

But practicing isn’t just about repetition. It’s also about refining your delivery, figuring out where to pause for effect, and ensuring your speech flows smoothly.

If you’re serious about becoming a confident speaker, make practice a priority. Remember, practice makes perfect – and confident.

6) Not believing in yourself

This one might sound cliche, but it’s so true. If you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect others to believe in you?

Confidence is not just about mastering techniques or avoiding certain habits. It’s about truly believing in your ability to deliver a powerful, impactful speech.

I’ve seen many talented speakers doubt themselves, and it’s heartbreaking. Because when you doubt yourself, it shows. It seeps into your words, your body language, and your tone.

Take a moment. Believe in your voice. Believe in your message. Believe in your power to move people with your words. This belief will be the foundation of your confidence as a speaker.

7) Not embracing your unique style

I remember trying to mimic the speaking style of a speaker I admired. I thought that if I could speak like him, I’d be a better speaker. But instead, I ended up feeling uncomfortable and inauthentic.

It took me some time to realise that what made him a great speaker was not his style, but his authenticity. He was being himself on stage, and that’s what resonated with the audience.

We all have our unique styles of speaking – our pace, our tone, our gestures. Embrace yours. It’s what makes you, you. And when you’re being true to yourself, it shows. You become more genuine, more engaging, and yes, more confident.

Don’t try to be someone else on stage. Be you. Because you are enough.

8) Trying to be perfect

Here’s a little secret. The most confident speakers aren’t the ones who never make mistakes. They’re the ones who know how to handle mistakes when they occur.

Many of us fear making mistakes on stage because we think it will make us look bad. But the truth is, trying to be perfect can actually make you seem less confident. It can make you seem rigid, robotic, and less relatable.

When you accept that mistakes are part of the process and stop striving for perfection, you free yourself to be more spontaneous and more authentic. And interestingly enough, audiences tend to appreciate this authenticity more than a flawless but impersonal delivery.

9) Ignoring your audience

Public speaking isn’t a one-way street. It’s a conversation between you and your audience. Ignoring your audience, or treating them as an afterthought, can make your speech seem impersonal and detached.

Confident speakers know how to engage their audience. They ask questions, seek feedback, and tailor their speech to suit the interests and needs of their listeners.

Your audience is the reason you’re speaking. Make them feel valued and involved. Not only will this make your speech more engaging, but it will also boost your confidence knowing that you’re connecting with your listeners on a deeper level.

10) Forgetting to breathe

Breathing. It’s so basic, yet so fundamental. And in the midst of nerves and excitement, it’s often the first thing we forget.

Proper breathing helps you manage your nerves, pace your speech, and project your voice. When you forget to breathe, your voice can become shaky, you can speak too fast, and you may struggle to convey your message effectively.

When you’re about to step on stage, take a moment. Take a deep breath. And remember that, as a speaker, your breath is your anchor. It keeps you grounded, centered, and confident. Never underestimate its power.

Final thought: It’s a journey

The quest to become a confident speaker is much like a journey. It’s not about arriving at a destination, but about continuously learning, growing, and evolving.

Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes. In fact, every great speaker has stumbled, faltered, or even completely bombed a speech at some point in their career. What sets them apart is their willingness to learn from these experiences and to keep going.

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s built over time, through practice, persistence, and a deep belief in oneself.

Whether you’re speaking in front of a crowd of thousands or just a handful of people, remember that your voice matters. Your message matters. And the world needs more confident speakers who are willing to share their stories and perspectives.

So take that step. Say goodbye to those habits that are holding you back. And embark on this exciting journey towards becoming the confident speaker you aspire to be.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “All the great speakers were bad speakers at first.” So start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. And watch your confidence soar.