7 behaviors of selfish men that most women won’t put up with, according to psychology

Every relationship has its challenges, but there’s a limit to what most women are willing to tolerate—especially when selfishness takes over.

Psychology highlights specific behaviors that selfish men tend to exhibit, often to the detriment of their partners’ well-being.

From disregarding her feelings to focusing solely on his own needs, these actions can slowly erode the relationship.

Being selfish isn’t always a choice, and sometimes it can stem from deeper psychological issues. But no matter the cause, it’s essential to understand these behaviors and their impact on your relationship.

In this article, I’ll delve into the seven behaviors of selfish men that most women won’t put up with, according to psychology.

Here’s hoping this knowledge will help us navigate through the complexities of our relationships more efficiently.

1) Constant need for admiration

One of the most telltale signs of a selfish man is his constant need for admiration.

This behavior often stems from an inflated sense of self-importance, leading him to seek validation and attention, frequently at the expense of his partner’s feelings or needs.

He might turn conversations toward his own achievements or dismiss your accomplishments in favor of discussing his.

Over time, this can leave you feeling minimized, unheard, and unimportant.

We’re not talking about occasional boastfulness—everyone has moments where they want to shine. The issue arises when it becomes a consistent pattern that undermines your feelings and the balance in your relationship.

In psychology, this constant need for admiration is often linked to narcissistic tendencies.

Keep in mind that this is about them and their insecurities, not about you or your worth.

2) Inability to empathize

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s a critical component of any healthy relationship.

However, a selfish man often struggles with this.

His world typically revolves around his feelings, his experiences, and his perspectives.

When you’re upset or dealing with something challenging, he may fail to offer genuine comfort or understanding. Instead, he might brush off your emotions, change the subject, or even make it about himself.

This inability to empathize stems from a self-focused mindset. As per psychology, empathy requires us to step outside of our own perspective and consider someone else’s feelings and experiences.

If a person is overly focused on themselves, they may struggle to do this effectively.

Without empathy, it’s difficult to build a strong emotional connection or feel truly understood and valued in a relationship.

3) Avoidance of commitment

When the topic of commitment comes up, does he become evasive or change the subject?

Commitment can be scary, and it’s natural to have some worries or fears about it. But if he’s consistently avoiding any talks about the future or making definite plans, it might be a sign of selfishness.

He might enjoy your company and the benefits of being in a relationship, but when it comes to taking things further or making sacrifices, he hesitates or pulls away.

This could indicate that he’s more focused on his comfort and wants to keep his options open.

It’s important to remember that everyone moves at their own pace in a relationship, and it’s okay to take things slow.

However, if his reluctance to commitment is causing uncertainty and distress for you, it might be worth having an open conversation about it. Everyone deserves to feel secure and loved in their relationship.

4) Neglecting your needs

We all have moments when we’re absorbed in our own world when we’re preoccupied with work stress or personal issues. But what happens when this becomes the norm rather than the exception?

If he consistently neglects your emotional or physical needs, it could be a sign of selfishness.

This might look like forgetting important dates, not being there for you when you need support, or failing to consider your feelings in decisions that affect both of you.

It’s not about expecting him to cater to your every whim, but about mutual respect and consideration in the relationship.

5) Always playing the victim

Have you ever been in a situation where he’s the one who’s wronged you, but somehow, you end up being the one apologizing?

I remember a time when I was upset about something my partner had done. Instead of acknowledging his mistake and apologizing, he turned it around and made himself the victim.

He made it seem like I was overreacting or being too sensitive.

This is a classic behavior of a selfish man. By always playing the victim, he avoids taking responsibility for his actions and shifts the blame onto others.

It’s an unhealthy pattern that can make you second-guess yourself and feel guilty for standing up for your feelings.

6) Lack of interest in your life

You come home, excited to share news about your day, only to find him uninterested or dismissive. Instead of engaging in conversation, he switches the topic back to himself or his interests. Sound familiar?

This lack of interest in your life can be a glaring sign of selfishness. Relationships are about mutual interest and support. If he’s not showing curiosity about your world – your interests, ambitions, and experiences – that’s a problem.

It might be time to stop making excuses for him and confront the issue head-on.

You deserve someone who wants to know about your day, listens to your stories, and celebrates your successes with you.

Relationships are a two-way street and it’s important that you feel seen and valued by your partner.

7) Not respecting your boundaries

At the end of the day, respect is non-negotiable in any relationship. And a key part of respect is recognizing and honoring each other’s boundaries.

If he consistently crosses your boundaries – be it physical, emotional, or mental – it’s a strong sign of selfishness. He’s prioritizing his wants over your comfort and well-being.

The most important thing to remember here is that your boundaries are valid. You have every right to set them and expect them to be respected. If he can’t do that, it might be time to reconsider if this is the relationship you want to be in.

Conclusion

While every relationship has its ups and downs, understanding selfish behavior can help you protect your emotional well-being and set healthy boundaries.

Contrary to what many might think, selfishness in relationships isn’t always intentional—sometimes it stems from deeper insecurities or emotional immaturity.

However, regardless of the root cause, these behaviors can erode the foundation of any partnership, leaving you feeling undervalued and drained.

What’s crucial is to recognize these patterns early on.

By identifying the signs of selfishness—whether it’s a lack of empathy, an inability to commit, or a disregard for your needs—you can make informed decisions about how to navigate or potentially address the situation.

Relationships should be based on mutual respect and consideration. If these fundamental aspects are consistently missing, it may be time to reflect on whether the relationship is nurturing your growth or stifling it.

At the end of the day, you deserve a partner who values you, listens, and supports your journey, just as much as you do theirs.

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Tara Whitmore

Tara Whitmore is a psychologist based in Melbourne, with a passion for helping people build healthier relationships and navigate life’s emotional ups and downs. Her articles blend practical psychology with relatable insights, offering readers guidance on everything from communication skills to managing stress in everyday life. When Tara isn’t busy writing or working with clients, she loves to unwind by practicing yoga or trying her hand at pottery—anything that lets her get creative and stay mindful.

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