8 things you should never, ever reveal about yourself, according to psychology

There’s a fine line between being open and oversharing.

Being open is about sharing your thoughts and feelings honestly, while still respecting the person you’re talking with. Oversharing, however, can lead to uncomfortable situations and strained relationships.

Psychology tells us there are certain things we should keep to ourselves, not because we need to be secretive, but because not everything needs to be revealed.

Here are the eight things you should never, ever spill about yourself. Believe me, it’s for your own peace of mind.

1) Your deep-seated insecurities

We all have our insecurities. It’s a part of being human.

However, psychology suggests that revealing your deepest insecurities to just anyone may not be the best idea. It can make you an easy target for manipulation or even bullying.

We’re not saying you should bottle up your feelings, but rather, choose wisely who you share them with. Trusted friends, loved ones, or a professional therapist are typically safe choices.

There’s strength in vulnerability, but there’s also wisdom in discretion.

2) Your past mistakes

I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve made some blunders in my past. Who hasn’t, right?

But the thing is, constantly bringing up past mistakes doesn’t serve any purpose, except perhaps to keep the wound fresh. It’s one thing to acknowledge them and learn from them, it’s another to always have them on display.

Once, I shared a past failure with someone I had just met. Instead of drawing us closer, it seemed to create a strange power dynamic where they felt they had the upper hand.

Psychology suggests it’s healthier to focus on the person you are now and the person you’re striving to become, rather than dwelling on past errors. After all, we are not defined by our mistakes, but by how we rise after falling.

3) Your personal family drama

You might think venting about your family drama to others can give you a sense of relief, but it can also lead to negative perceptions. People often view those who frequently air their family issues as gossipy or dramatic.

Interestingly, studies have shown that individuals who often share their familial disputes are more likely to experience stress and anxiety.

So, while it might be tempting to spill the beans on your latest family feud, it’s probably best to keep it under wraps.

4) Your income and financial status

In many cultures, discussing money can be seen as crass or insensitive. It’s often considered a private matter, one that’s best kept to oneself.

Sharing your income or financial status, whether it’s a six-figure salary or a mountain of debt, can lead to unnecessary comparisons and resentment. It might also invite unwanted attention or expectations.

It’s generally healthier and more respectful to keep money matters to yourself, unless the context clearly calls for it.

5) Your deepest fears

Everyone has fears. Some are simple, like a fear of spiders, while others are more complex, like the fear of rejection or failure.

Revealing your deepest fears can make you feel exposed and vulnerable. It’s like handing someone a map to your weaknesses.

But these fears are a part of you that need care and understanding. They’re not to be taken lightly or thrown around in casual conversation.

Choose to share them with those who have earned your trust, those who will hold your fears with the same care that you do. Only then can sharing your deepest fears become an act of courage rather than a moment of weakness.

6) Your regrets

I once turned down an incredible job opportunity because it required moving to a new city. It seemed too daunting at the time, and I’ve often wondered what would’ve happened if I had taken that leap.

Regrets are a tricky thing. They can consume you if you let them. Sharing them with others might feel cathartic in the moment, but it can also lead to people questioning your judgment or decision-making abilities.

Instead of dwelling on the past, try to focus on the present and the future. Use your regrets as lessons to shape better decisions moving forward. After all, we all have paths not taken, but what matters most is what we do with the path we’re on now.

7) Your personal beliefs and values

Personal beliefs and values are just that – personal. They shape who we are and guide our decisions. But they can also be a subject of debate and conflict when shared without discretion.

While it’s important to stand up for what you believe in, it’s equally important to respect the diversity of thoughts and opinions around us. Disclosing your deeply-held beliefs and values indiscriminately can lead to unnecessary arguments or even damage relationships.

Mutual respect is key. Share your beliefs when appropriate, but always with an understanding that others may see things differently.

8) Your secrets

A secret, by definition, isn’t meant to be shared. Whether it’s a personal secret or one entrusted to you by someone else, revealing it can lead to broken trust and damaged relationships.

The most important thing to remember is that once a secret is out, it can never be taken back. So think twice before revealing secrets. Your discretion could be the very thing that maintains trust and strengthens your relationships.

Final thought: It’s about self-preservation

The underlying thread of psychology often weaves around the concept of protecting ourselves, both physically and emotionally.

Each of the eight points we’ve discussed is essentially a form of self-preservation. By being mindful of what we share about ourselves, we’re safeguarding our personal space, our mental health, and our relationships.

Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, once said, “Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.” By keeping certain aspects of ourselves private, we’re not shutting down or being secretive. Instead, we’re choosing what to expose and what to protect.

It’s about understanding that our insecurities, fears, regrets, and secrets are part of us. But they’re not for everyone to see.

So as you navigate your personal and professional life, remember to guard these aspects of yourself. Because in the end, it’s not about hiding but about preserving your authenticity and mental peace.