10 things you don’t realize you’re doing because you have low self-esteem

It’s often said that the hardest person to truly know is yourself. Especially when you’re out there, unknowingly behaving in certain ways due to low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem can make you do things that you may not even realize. It’s like a puppeteer pulling your strings from the shadows.

You may not know it, but I’ve been there too. And trust me, identifying the problem is the first step towards healing.

In this article, we’ll explore 10 things you don’t realize you’re doing because you have low self-esteem. By spotting these signs, perhaps we can start to untangle those strings and regain control.

1) Over-apologizing

One of the most common signs of low self-esteem is the habit of apologizing excessively.

You know what I’m talking about, right? It’s when you’re constantly saying “sorry” even when it’s not required. Like when someone else bumps into you, but you’re the one apologizing.

It’s as if we feel the need to apologize for our very existence. This is often because we don’t value ourselves enough, leading us to assume that we must be in the wrong.

It’s a tricky habit to spot since it’s so ingrained in our behavior. But once you realize it, you’re one step closer to breaking free from its hold.

2) Shying away from compliments

Here’s another trait I’ve noticed in myself when my self-esteem was at its lowest point. I’d shy away from compliments, often brushing them off or downplaying my achievements.

I remember once, a friend complimented me on a presentation I’d given. Instead of accepting the praise, I immediately deflected it, saying, “Oh, it was nothing. Anyone could have done it.”

Looking back, I realize that my inability to accept compliments was a reflection of my low self-esteem. I couldn’t believe that I was worthy of praise because deep down, I didn’t deem myself good enough.

If you find yourself doing the same, it might be time to delve deeper into why you struggle to accept compliments. It might be more than just modesty; it could be a sign of low self-esteem.

3) Avoiding eye contact

Eye contact is one of the most fundamental aspects of human communication. Yet, people with low self-esteem often avoid it. They might look at the floor, at their hands, or just about anywhere else but into the other person’s eyes.

This behavior stems from a feeling of unworthiness.

They might believe they’re not important enough to hold someone’s gaze, or they might fear that making eye contact will reveal their insecurities.

Maintaining good eye contact can actually enhance our connections with others and boost our self-esteem. If you often find yourself avoiding eye contact, it might be a sign that you’re wrestling with low self-esteem.

4) Neglecting self-care

When you’re dealing with low self-esteem, it’s easy to neglect taking care of yourself. You might skip meals, not get enough sleep or exercise, or even disregard your personal hygiene.

The reason? You may not believe you’re worthy of these basic forms of self-care. Or you might feel that your needs are not as important as those of others.

But remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s essential. If you notice that you’re neglecting your own needs, it might be a sign that your self-esteem needs a boost.

5) Constantly seeking approval

A classic sign of low self-esteem is constantly seeking validation from others. You might find yourself unable to make decisions without someone else’s approval, or constantly worrying about what others think of you.

This stems from a lack of trust in your own judgment. You might feel like your opinions or decisions aren’t good enough unless someone else agrees with them.

If you find yourself constantly looking for approval, it’s a sign you may be battling low self-esteem. Your opinion matters, and you don’t need anyone else’s validation to confirm that.

6) Struggling to express your needs

It’s heartbreaking, but when you’re dealing with low self-esteem, you might find it difficult to express your needs and desires. You might feel unworthy of having your needs met or fear that expressing them will lead to rejection or criticism.

Silencing your needs is a way of protecting yourself from potential pain, but it also prevents you from living a fulfilling life.

If you often find yourself suppressing your needs or desires, know that it’s okay to voice them. It’s okay to prioritize yourself. And it’s okay to want more. You are worthy, and realizing that is a significant step towards building healthier self-esteem.

7) Harboring a negative self-image

I recall looking in the mirror and being overly critical of my reflection. I’d focus on every perceived flaw, every imperfection, and would often compare myself unfavorably to others.

This negative self-image was a clear indication of my low self-esteem at the time. I was unable to see my worth and instead focused on what I believed were my shortcomings.

If you find yourself doing the same, it’s essential to remember that your worth is not determined by your physical appearance or how you measure up to others. You are enough, just as you are. And learning to love and accept yourself is a key step in boosting your self-esteem.

8) Overworking yourself

Strangely enough, working too hard can be a sign of low self-esteem. You might think that burning the candle at both ends would reflect a high level of ambition or dedication, but often, it’s hiding something else.

It might be an attempt to prove your worth to others or even to yourself. You might believe that if you just work harder, achieve more, then you’ll finally feel good enough.

But the truth is, your worth is not measured by your productivity. If you find yourself pushing past your limits regularly at the cost of your well-being, it could be a sign that your self-esteem needs some attention.

9) Settling for less

When you have low self-esteem, it’s easy to settle for less than you deserve. You might accept poor treatment from others, or stay in situations that are not fulfilling because you believe you can’t do any better.

This could be in relationships, at work, or in any aspect of your life where you’re not getting what you want or need.

If you notice that you’re settling for less, it’s a sign that your self-esteem needs a boost. Remember, you deserve respect, happiness, and fulfillment just like anyone else. Don’t settle for anything less.

10) Pushing people away

The fear of rejection or being seen as a burden can often lead those with low self-esteem to push people away. You might find it hard to form close relationships, preferring to keep people at arm’s length to protect yourself from potential hurt.

But remember, everyone deserves love and connection. If you find yourself pushing people away, it’s crucial to understand that it’s okay to let people in. It’s okay to be vulnerable and it’s okay to trust. You are worthy of meaningful relationships.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-love

In the case of low self-esteem, it’s like looking at yourself through a distorted mirror. The image is skewed, and it leads you to act in ways that don’t serve your best interests.

But here’s an important truth – every single one of us is worthy of love, respect, and contentment. This includes love and respect from others, but more importantly, from ourselves.

The journey towards embracing this truth may seem daunting. You might stumble and falter along the way. But remember, it’s a journey worth embarking upon.

Because at the end of the day, self-love isn’t just about feeling good about yourself. It’s about acknowledging your worth and allowing yourself to live a life that reflects it.

So as you reflect on these signs of low self-esteem, remember this – you are enough, just as you are. And no amount of self-doubt can diminish your worth.