It’s a universal experience to have family disagreements, especially when it comes to organizing family events. But what happens when one family member’s needs seem to dictate the entire event? It can become a source of tension and animosity. Now, imagine if that family member is a toddler with an extensive list of allergies.
A woman on Reddit shared her frustration over her sister-in-law’s demands related to her severely allergic child during family dinner planning. In her post, she recounts how her sister-in-law rejected every restaurant suggestion due to potential allergen exposure for her toddler, leading her to suggest, somewhat exasperatedly, that the child should either have a babysitter or be put in a “plastic bubble”.
Family dinner planning turns tense over toddler’s severe allergies
The Reddit thread in question begins with the woman describing the situation, explaining that her sister-in-law (SIL), a mother of a toddler under three, suggested a rotating family dinner once a month. The catch? The toddler has severe allergies to a host of common food items including milk, wheat, eggs, soy, tree nuts, and peanuts among others. The woman and her husband don’t have children and also have pets which further complicates the situation as the toddler is allergic to cats as well. When it was their turn to host, they suggested three restaurants convenient for all families involved.
However, each suggestion was met with resistance from the SIL who was concerned about the potential exposure of allergens to her child. The pizza place was rejected due to possible “wheat dust” in the air that could cause a rash. The Greek place was ruled out because of yogurt and the Chinese restaurant for wheat again. Even though the woman pointed out that the child usually brings its own food and doesn’t eat from the menu, it did not change SIL’s stance.
As an alternative solution, she suggested that her SIL could get a babysitter for the child – an idea which was also promptly dismissed by her SIL. At her wit’s end, the woman sarcastically suggested that her SIL should either get a babysitter or “put the kid in a plastic bubble”.
The discussion then moved away from dinner at a restaurant to an outdoor activity at a botanical garden. However, the woman predicts this will also likely reveal more allergens her nephew is susceptible to.
Responses to the original post heavily favor the SIL, with one user claiming:
“I’m going with YTA, because, let’s be real, you sound like a huge one. It’s almost as of you don’t believe the kid has allergies and that your SIL is making them up for unknown reasons.
“The kid has a lot of allergies and I’m sure it’s very difficult to find a restaurant to eat with him, but try being his parents who have to advocate for him because of assholes like you or being the kid who has to watch everything he ingests or breathes.
“Maybe you’ll discover the kid is allergic to assholes at the botanical garden. That’ll be a win-win for everybody involved.”
Navigating family dynamics and allergies
One of the key themes emerging from this Reddit thread is the tension between accommodating a family member’s specific needs and preserving a sense of normality and fairness within family dynamics. It raises questions about how far families should go to accommodate one member, especially when that member is a young child with severe allergies. The woman’s frustration is palpable in her post as she feels her SIL’s demands are becoming too much.
This thread also brings to light the challenge of managing severe food allergies, especially in social situations. It’s not just about the immediate physical reaction to an allergen, but also about the anxiety and stress it can cause to the allergic person or, in this case, their parents. The SIL’s concern for her child’s health is understandable, but where is the line drawn between reasonable accommodation and excessive caution?
Additionally, there’s an underlying theme of understanding and empathy, or lack thereof, from both sides. The woman feels her SIL should be more flexible and considerate of others in the family, while her SIL likely feels overwhelmed by her child’s allergies and wants to create safe environments for him.
This Reddit thread serves as a reminder that navigating family dynamics can be complicated, especially when health issues are involved. It’s a delicate balancing act of juggling personal needs with family harmony.
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