(UR) Following the gruesome killing of 17 high school students in Parkland, Florida by Nikolas Cruz, President Trump has called for the deportation of white nationalists after learning the shooter was training with them.
“I was wrong. Bigly wrong,” the president told reporters on Thursday. “It’s not Mexicans or Muslims that are committing the majority of terror attacks, it’s white supremacists,” a rare accurate claim from the president correctly stated.
Trump instructed Attorney General Jeff Sessions to begin deporting white nationalists and racists back to Mississippi where a wall would be built (which Mississippi would pay for) to contain them “until we can figure out what the hell is going on.”
“They’re bringing hate, they’re bringing terrorism, they’re uneducated, and frankly, they’re idiots. They’re mad that black and brown folks are able to successfully mate and they can’t.” the president correctly stated.
Amid the confusion, Sessions questioned whether Trump himself would also be deported, to which Trump simply answered: “Wrong!”
Disgraced former Trump advisor Steve Bannon has already reportedly deported himself to Mississippi ahead of the order.
This breaking news story may be updated once we figure out what the hell is going on.
Satire / Underground Reporter