(UR) A Florida man cut off his own penis to protest what he calls “rape culture” on American college campuses.
Though Timmy Adams, 27, says he’s never even thought about raping anyone himself, he says he was inspired to chop his own dick off by recent videos posted online of people who never shot anyone cutting the barrels of their rifles off in protest of gun violence.
“It makes perfect sense,” the male feminist and hipster told us at press time, “It’s #OneLessPenis that could be possibly used to rape someone even though I know I would never do that.”
He also told reporters that penises over eight inches long should be banned because they could be used in mass rapings more effectively than regular-sized dicks.
In what many would call a miracle, Timmy’s female partner (girlfriend) became pregnant shortly after Adams removed his johnson.
Satire / Underground Reporter